Accents 2016, September 14th

I always get very annoyed at surveys
Most of the time they invade
your most intimate spaces,
start their enquiries
at the most inopportune occasion
around mid day or diner time
when everybody’s finally home
or when you are impatiently waiting for an important phone call

They often show up on a very familiar number
an area code of a friend or the cell of a family member
« Hello on behalf of the New-york city, we are conducting a survey » 
Bla bla bla…
I usually cut them off…breathe deeply into the receiver
detach every word I utter with all my nasal English intonation
This -will- NOT -work- today!
Until I realized, they can call another day as I stated not TODAY
and YES kept calling!
The magic happened when I found a recipe concocted while washing dishes , a prank to get them off my back, once and for all....
SO They said “On behalf of the new-york city bla bal bla we are conducting a survey… etc…etc
I picked an Island accent, a shako grand’ ma’s voice between Trinidad and Haiti « Trinidaitian » and pretended to be hard of hearing
OH SERVICE!!
For who? who died?
Oh…. A CAR you are conducting
wap kondwi?
is it a new Brand?
They promptly Hung up...
and Never returned...

Never get rid of your accent
It can save your life…
at least spare you the agonizing
pain of surveys